It is an absolutely phenomenal time to be alive. Challenging, stressful, and sometimes gut-wrenchingly painful, but phenomenal all the same.
As a woman I know one thing for sure. There has never been another time in modern history when women have chosen to answer the call to rise in droves like we are today. Women are entering entrepreneurship, politics, and business en masse. We are starting grassroots movements, entering formerly male-dominated career fields, and starting nonprofits with swiftness and speed and unwavering focus. It is a wonder to behold.
And yet, after 22 years of conversations and relationships with women in pain, I also know that so many are hearing the call and feeling unable to rise up and answer it. They feel the nudge, have the vision, sleep with the dreams, and experience the deep longing and yearning to be so much more – but the fear and self-doubt seem to be insurmountable obstacles that stand between them and the most truthful, authentic, lit-on-fire versions of themselves.
While there is some truth that our societies, governments, cultures and religions all have real tangible barriers in place that make it harder for women to rise, the Truth, as I have experienced it with thousands of people, is that the real barrier is nearly always emanating from within.
We have been taught math and science and money management and business strategy. We are not, however, routinely taught how to manage the paralyzing fear and self-doubt that appears when we are on the precipice of taking a leap that could potentially change life as we know it forever. The leap from the home to corporate, from corporate to business owner, from business owner to politician, from high school student to civil rights activist. The leap from the comfort zone into the unknown.
As children we all experience fear and doubt. Boys are encouraged to face their fears and battle their demons head on, emerging as powerful victors and conquerors of the Kingdom. Girls, however, are taught to identify with being fearful and wait to be saved and protected.
If women are going to rise and claim our place as the true healers of this worthy but messy world, the time for taking back our power around fear has come.
A huge part of the work I have the privilege of doing in this world is helping women rewire their mindset (conscious thoughts, subconscious programming, and brain) around fear, self-doubt, courage, success, money, and safety, to name a few. And the outcome of that work is quite literally what will change the world because when a woman is clear, confident, focused, connected, and able to be brave in the face of fear, she becomes a force of nature who will not be stopped until her purpose is fulfilled.
This Wonder Woman-like vision may feel like a pipe dream to you, because today your biggest challenge is just trying to decide how to do a Facebook live during naptime, revamp your resume for the first time in 7 years, or (finally) sell something on a call. Breathe my friend. All is well. You are not broken or late to the game. You just need to take one step forward.
When I talk with a woman who is struggling with fear but deeply desires clarity, confidence, and courage, I ask her to journal on these questions to take that next step:
What do I deeply desire? It’s a lot different than asking “What do I want?” Go deep. Be honest, even if what you desire is so far-fetched you cannot fathom how to get there. You have to admit what you long for before you can have it.
Why do I desire being/doing/having these things? Knowing your “why” allows you to anchor into passion and purpose in a way that will help keep you tethered when things become challenging.
What do I need to be willing to START doing and STOP doing in order to move towards my calling? Start setting limits and boundaries? Start saying NO? Stop putting myself last on the to-do list? Stop allowing guilt and fear make all my decisions?
What beliefs do I hold that stand in between me and taking action? Money is the root of all evil? I have to struggle in order to achieve? I do not deserve what I desire? I will have to sacrifice my family in order to become who I am being called to become? Who the hell am I to dream so big?
What would be possible for me if I shifted all of those beliefs? The correct answer is always, “Anything would be possible.”
The beliefs we hold are powerful. Especially, “Who am I to dream about, ask for, and receive so much?” It’s the mark of the Impostor Syndrome and when you can shift the power away from your fear-based Ego and back to your Inner Being, answering the call to rise becomes the inevitable next step. Fear will always hang around like a back seat driver, but your clarity and purpose will become the chauffeur you have always dreamed of.
The Sufi poet Rumi wrote,“What you seek is seeking you.” Your desires and dreams are not some kind of cosmic joke, implanted in your awareness, stirring you up while the Divine sits back laughing about how you will never be able to get there. Your desires are a reflection of the Divine wanting to experience itself through YOU. Honor them. Follow them. Lean in. We are all waiting excitedly for you to rise and become the person you were always meant to be.
Ready to tackle Impostor Syndrome once and for all? Click HERE to register for “Overcome Impostor Syndrome and Own 2018,” a free training that will help you shift out of fear and self-doubt and into your natural badass state.